question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
