So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
