ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize