Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
