and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
