Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
