hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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