i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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