Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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