What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
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when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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