i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
