You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
