well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
