I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
