Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
They have beer where we have blood.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
