That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize