I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
