he wants to bone in the snuggie
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
