a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
