hell yes lets make some ravioli
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
