I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
