Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
