His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
there is glitter all over my balls
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