please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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