No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
