the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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