Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
