hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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