This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
