My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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