I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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