I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
