Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
