First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
