I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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