He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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