you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
