fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize