Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
