I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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