We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
