But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
