It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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