matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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