So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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