alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
