The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
