Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
