arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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