Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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