he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
