i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
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I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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