Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
