Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
