there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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