dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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