I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
