Yo dont text me then not text me
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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