I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
