So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
