I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
