I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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