hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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