just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
