omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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