you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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