i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
