matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
